Friday, October 3, 2008

I am back and catching up!

I am back! It has been a long break, and I have been very busy. I am sorry that it has been so long since my last post. So, much has happened, but at the same time nothing important.

Some highlights:
I sent out a prize to Leah the winner.
We have gone to church twice since my last post.
My husband and I fought terribly but have made up.
My children have done some really gross stuff that I have cleaned up and I have forgiven them.

I am a lot nervous today for two reasons:
I have a parent teacher conference with Bethany's teacher today.
I also have a weigh in at the Doctor's office. (I have ate way to much, I know I have gained)
I really don't want to face anyone after the results but I need to pull my big girl pants up and just do it.

One last thing before I go-------

Something someone said on Sunday has been bothering me ever since. I don't remember exactly what she said so I will not quote her, but I can tell you exactly what she meant. She said something like we need to raise our children right because when they become an adult whatever they do is a direct reflection upon our parenting. Whatever!I agree we need to try and raise our children correctly, and we as parents need to do the best we can. I also believe even in trying to do the right thing. I even love the motto 'When we know better we do better'. However, you also know that even if you do everything correctly as a parent your children are going to make the choices they make. There comes a time when they are adults and it won't matter anymore.Sure as soon as you are done raising your children and you feel like you did everything right and all your children are doing fine - Then I am happy for you. However, there are plenty and I mean plenty of people who have tried to raise their children with values, and morals. They as parents tried to teach their children right from wrong, but when the children became adults they just made some bad decisions. Some decisions can be corrected. Some decisions are lethal. I don't mean to make it sound like the luck of the draw. What I want you to understand is that it is all based on choice. It is all based on what one wants to do with their free agency when they become adults. Look at my husband. He was raised in the church. He was taught good values, and how to be in good standing with the church. Now, to some he would be a complete failure, I am sure to the lady who made the comment he is a complete failure, but I know that deep down he is fighting with himself. Now my husband has not committed any type of crime, he has just committed sin. However, what he chooses shouldn't be a direct reflect on my In-Laws parenting skills. We live in a society where enough people go around blaming all their problems on what their parents did or didn't d ofor them while they were children.I have been honest with my children about what I would like from them in ways of the world. For the most part my children are pretty good kids.They have their moments but they are just kids. I don't know what they will be like as adults. I hope that they will be kind, loving, honest,and prayerful. However, they may choose a life of crime. I just don't think there are any guarantees. For those of you that would like to make a comment please do. I think the thing that bothered me most about what she said was that it was in such a holier than thou attitude.


GoodyGang said...

I will have to agree. The only thing I would change is that I think parents have a strong influence on the children long after they become adults. We can effect thier lives through example and prayers. I Agree whole heartedly that they have A God given gift of free agency and parents can not be blamed for bad choices, but I also believe that parents have a responsibility to teach and reteach the good priciples and morals ( only in a loving way) that will help them when choices arise. Too many parents these days just expect kids to learn it once then never forget, or just surround them with good people and leaders and they will turn out o.k. This world is a messy place and we have to help them understand not only the good , but also that there is real harm and evil out there, so that they will want the joy and know the good. Life is a journey we make together, as family we share each others sufering.The Atonement make sin with repentence, a choice opportunity to help someone else avoid the same traps.

kathy said...

I was there that day, and I do remember the comment-I personally would never make a comment like that, because you never know what people are going to do--be it your kids or your grandkids, or whatever-I don't remember who made the comment-but we are all responsible for ourselves--there are people who are raised by great parents who turn out "wrong" and there are people who are raised by terrible parents who turn out to be oustanding people. I think we have a spirit we bring down to earth with us. I know I talked to a sister in our ward one day, and she said if she had stopped after her first two kids, she would have been quite pleased with her parenting skills, because those two were "easy" kids, but along came number 3 and it was a whole new world--she had thought the first two were so easy because she was such a wonderful parent. So, anyways, all I wanted to say was that we have agency to make our own choices and we cannot force anyone to do anything. That was the whole point of coming to earth--that we would be free to make our own choices. If you have done the best you can, and your kids choose the wrong path, that is their choice and not your fault. After all, even Heavenly Father lost 1/3 of his children, and I figure he was probably a pretty good parent!