Tuesday, April 22, 2008

TMI Tuesday # 3 The Story of Kayla

When I did my first TMI Tuesday I wrote 'Where Did All These kids Come From?'. I talked about each one of the children who live in our house. Then Amanda asked what about Kayla? So today I shall address the Kayla issuse. (Kayla you are not an issuse.)
I was not around in the days of Christi. I have seen pictures of how young Christi and Chris were. Oh so very young and foolish.

** I was not around for the days of Christi. Do not hold me to the correctness of the Christi and Chris romance. I am only going on what I have gathered and what my opinion is and I am not always right. However, I do believe this to be close enough.

Anyway, I think Chris started dating Christi before he graduated high school. Sometime not long after he was out of high school Christi got pregnant. Christi was a senior in high school. One can only imagine the drama that this brought to both families. Chris really loved Christi, and I believe Christi really loved Chris. They talked about getting married but neither sets of parents wanted them to rush I guess.
Anyway, Chris and Christi were together not married having a baby. Christi had the baby. She was a beautiful baby girl which they name Kayla. They were both so young to be parents but they really loved this little baby. You could imagine that by this time Pat was totally in love with this little baby. Chris and Christi were together after the baby was born for a little while. Then Frank came home from basic training. Frank and Christi had always been like best friends. Chris and Christi broke up. Frank and Christi got married. Frank wanted to adopt Kayla. Kayla was about a year old. Pat didn't want this to happen. Nanny thought it was for the best. Chris was still upset about not being with Christi. Chris signed the papers to let Frank adopt Kayla.

***end of what I was guessing at.

Chris and I have talked about this at different times during our marriage. This is what I gathered. He was young. He was foolish. He was hurt. Frank and Christi were talking about leaving town. Frank could offer Kayla insurance through the service if he adopted her. I am sure there are more reasons but in the end it doesn't matter.

What does matter is he just didn't realize how horrible this would make him feel for years to come. I know that if he could take it all back he would.

We still see Kayla occasionally.

I met Kayla first at baton. We had signed the girls up for baton lessons and Kayla was there.

I really met Kayla and Christi for the first time when Courtney got married. I have to say I was really nervous about being around Kayla and Christi, but they are both really great people. I sat with Christi for the rehearsal dinner, and Christi sat with me at the wedding reception. You know she was a big help to me on the day Courtney got married. I remember thinking 'I know why Chris was in love with her.' At this point in our marriage I really couldn't understand why he loved any of his ex's.

Then one day me and the girls went to Taco Bell. We ordered all this food and who was in the window when we drove around? Kayla. Lynsey sees her and starts yelling hey that's my sister, and Bethany says is she my sister, and Lynsey says yes she's our sister. I was uncomfortable not for the reasons you would think. I mean I love that the girls acknowledge Kayla, love Kayla, want to see Kayla, ect. However, I just don't want it to make Kayla uncomfortable.

Then when Laura died I just knew that I had to get in touch with Kayla. So, I called Taco Bell and asked them to contact her and for her to call her Grandma Pat's right away. Christi and Kayla came to the house as soon as they heard. I talked with them alot over those couple of days.
I don't think that me or the girls make Kayla uncomfortable. I mean even though we started going to Taco Bell more often and we try to see her through the window like a bunch of stalkers. I don't think that makes her uncomfortable. I also don't think the love that is beaming of the girls faces when they are around her makes her uncomfortable. I think she really enjoys the entire family and I think she would really like a more firm place in our big crazy family it's just.......

I think Chris makes her uncomfortable. But he makes everyone uncomfortable at some point in there lives.

He just doesn't know what to say.

He doesn't want to offend,

he doesn't want to intrude,

I just think he doesn't know what to say or do so he just doesn't do anything.

He just acts like she's not there. Which that has to make Kayla uncomfortable.

If it were me I would want to run up to her, throw my arm around her and say 'I am sorry, you are beautiful, I only wanted what was best, I have always had love in my heart for you' BUT this isn't a hallmark movie this is life, he is not a woman he is a man, and I have learned that men just aren't built that way.

However let me tell you what he has said:
'I have always had a special part of my heart for her.'
'I just really want her to be happy.'
'She sure is a beautiful girl.'
'I just don't know what to do.'

When Courtney got married Chris danced with each of his daughters. He really wanted to dance with Kayla but didn't know what to do. So, I talked with Christi because I didn't want her to be upset. Christi said I won't be upset, he just need to ask Kayla to dance. So, he held his breathe and asked her to dance. She said yes. While they were dancing I sent the photographer over to take a picture.
It was a beautiful moment. He told me thank you later.
My husband doesn't see that it would be that easy.


gigi said...

I wish Kayla could read this. I think that it was beautiful. Your heart is as big as the world. You have so much love for your whole family it just spills off the page as you write about each of them. They are lucky.

Aramie Randall said...

Hi Echo- I hope you don't mind that I have tuned in to your blog! I remember seeing Kayla at church with her mom a few times when she was a little baby. It's so hard to believe that Chris has a child old enough to be working at Taco Bell! How time flies. Chris and the kids are so blessed to have you! What a wonderful wife and mother you are. You should be so proud!

Amanda said...

I can see, now, why you waited to tell her story. It definately needed it's own time and space. She is a beautiful girl and I hope that they will spend more time with us.

Can she go to family vacation?

Christon Says.... said...

I think that is the biggest beach ball i have ever seen! I will post some pics of our trip when we return, ONLY decent ones!